Coping With Negative Emotions

Coping With Negative Emotions

The less active we are with our lives, and the more routine it becomes, is the more room we make available for negative emotions to take control of our lives. This is because negative emotions are a result of being unhappy.

Can you recall what was happening in your life at a particular time, and/or when things began to change?

This is not a trivial question, for half the solution is in establishing the root of the problem, for symptoms are but signs. The cause can be external, internal or both. Our vulnerabilities differing from person-to-person, and our vulnerabilities can take place on the mental, emotional, or physical plane, and it can work from the emotional through to the physical.

Look at the following for one day, and tick which emotion you feel at any given time.

Dignity  Sel-Respect Self Worth Ashamed Beaten down Cut down Criticized Dehumanized Disrespected Embarrassed Humiliated Inferior Insulted Invalidated Labeled Lectured to Mocked Offended Put down Resentful Ridiculed Stereotyped Teased Underestimated

Freedom  In Control Bossed around Controlled Imprisoned Inhibited Forced Manipulated Obligated Over-controlled Over-ruled Powerless Pressured Restricted Suffocated Trapped

Love  Connected Important Abandoned Alone Brushed off Confused Disapproved of Discouraged Ignored Insignificant Invisible Left out Lonely Misunderstood Neglected Rejected Uncared about Unheard Unknown Unimportant Uninformed Unloved Unsupported Unwanted

Justice  Truth Accused Cheated Falsely accused Guilt-tripped Interrogated Judged Lied about Lied to Misled Punished Robbed

Safety  Abused Afraid Attacked Defensive Frightened Insecure Intimidated Over-protected Scared Terrified Threatened Under-protected Unsafe Violated

Trust  Cynical Guarded Skeptical Suspicious Not trusted Untrusting

The emotions written in orange are positive emotions, the emotions which connects us to the rest of the world, acts as our survival mechanism, and allows us to:

• Make decisions

• Set boundaries

• Communicate

• Be happy

• To submit to a state of tawhid, Unity with Allah (SWT), and His creations.

The emotions in blue are negative emotions, which causes us to disconnect from the outside world. Does that sound familiar?

Each negative emotion comes under a positive emotion. When that positive emotion is not facilitated in any way in your life, the one or more of the negative emotions under it will become a factor in one’s life.

Being aware of one’s negative emotions is a step towards counter-balancing them. Seemingly simply, A Negativity Line can help one do this. Each and everday, draw yourself a Negativity Line;

– ——————————————————- 0 ——————————————————+

On this line, you make note of the times you feel negative, and when. This will help you to see how you see yourself, others and your surroundings. One person who I asked to do this, was surprised to discover how badly she thought of herself. This line will help you to develop an ’emotional map’ of yourself, and to appreciate what you have to work with, the aim being to move towards the negative end of the line.

Things you can do to help you move towards the positive end of the line is:

• ·See life in optimistic attitude and don’t take yourself or life so seriously.
• ·Realize that failure is not the end of the world.
• ·Welcome new challenges and experiences.
• ·Believe in yourself.
• ·Be generous.
• ·Be honest to yourself and others.
• ·Work on your important goals.
• ·Put your focus on the positive side.
• ·Care about the happiness of others
• ·Always think of good health and prosperity.
• ·Think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best.
• ·Forget your past mistakes and focus on your successes encouraging yourself to greater achievements in the future.
• ·Do not watch, listen or read negative or bitter things, it may develop negative thinking.
• ·When you help someone, expect nothing in return

Sometimes, we can get so caught up with the life that we are used to, just going with the flow, and interacting according to the designated social role, without reflecting. Situation arise, and somewhere at the back of mind as we have tucked away an experience “out of harms way”, so that it does not bother our designated social roles. We might feel a little wrankled, but we pass it off, to the extent, that although consciously we felt OK about whatever happened, or that we have overcome the problem, but subconsiously a little voice is waiting to be heard. That silenced voice is trying to tell us something, but because we are out of touch with listening to ourselves, we do not hear what that little voice is trying to say.

That little voice can be trying to say “I hurt” because of something that happened, or “I’m bored with this mindset/these people/this conversation/my job/my life etc”, or “Be careful”, but because you have forgotten how to listen to your inner self, you interpret those whispers of your inner voice as something else.

{Allah has not made for any man two hearts within him…} (Az Azhab (33: 4)

Related Topics:

The Land of Truth
Is Your Spine Older Than You Are?
De-Stress Kit for Changing Times
Discovering Your Emotional Intelligence
What Frequency Am I Traveling on Right Now