That Dark Night of the Soul
By Hwaa Irfan
Many of us have experienced this, and many more will – why? Because the world as we thought we knew it has shifted. Why has it shifted can take many theories that will not convince those who do not want to be, and are addicted to the self perpetuated illusion that is dematerializing as we breathe.
Deep down, we know it is happening though we might fight our way into a state of denial holding onto the conviction that all these crises is just a phase. That fight demands extreme effort – is energy draining, and compromises our whole state of being, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, but we do it anyway, because we have been doing it without realizing all our lives. We might delve into frenzied music, addictive+misguided love, that high that we escape through. However, that self perpetuated semblance of reality is there when we become partially conscious again. Even wealth does not allow one to escape, because that semi-conscious state reminds us that there are only things, and common interests, the kind of common interests that will send one spinning into a vicious circle, that is sometimes even evil.
Susannah Furr writes of that dark night as someone who believed that she was aware, and thus free from such torture, but even her meditations, activations, inspirational writings, videos, Tarot and Rumi cards did not save her from that fall this January 2013, and she quotes Rumi:
“From every direction,
Agonies have crowded you;
To drag you at last
If Rumi can write of such agony, what agony will it be for those much less enlightened, and have buried deep away from thought.
”What is this?”, I asked, “Why do they seem so empty and meaningless now?” I was reminded of the words of Jesus on the cross of crucifixion, “My God, why hast thou forsaken me?”
Finally, I simply sat and faced the agony of the sense of separation, the dark night of the soul. There was nothing left to do but accept what is, to follow where it leads…..to the “directionless”. Embracing the feelings of powerlessness, hopelessness and despair and releasing/clearing the emotions of sorrow and grief, I came at last to the act of surrender. And in this surrendering, once again found myself resting in the peace of the directionless existence of the I AM Presence.”
It is then one accepts that there is no other choice, but to surrender. Here one does not speak of surrendering to man-made systems, but something vaster than the oceans combined not realizing until we do that it is in fact an opportunity not a threat. All problems are but that, a challenge that, if we embrace it offers more – much more than what we have betrayed ourselves to – that which removed us from our true selves struggling in the quicksand of greed, lust, and self interest constancy seeking self gratification – the whispering shaytan of “I want, I want, I want”.
That dark night is about reclaiming the self, the self that was handed over to someone/something else to manipulate, control and/or exploit – but never realized that is in fact what we have been doing holding them/it accountable when anything goes wrong repeatedly!
We can continue to blame the snake for biting the frog after it promised it would not if it would help the snake to cross the river, but at least the snake was acting according to its true nature.
By allowing ourselves to embrace the darkness, we will find the divided selves waiting t be reunited s that we may become more than we have descended to. If we are fortunate, we will have the support to do so, but for many that support is not there. It means earning to do the one thing that we have never truly done, that is, to trust one’s self, and in that trust to reawaken the instinct that a that we need to make it through will avail it’s self when needed, and that is need in the true meaning of the word – far from what we have become accustomed to. It will mean changes in our sleeping, our eating, our awake state, our relations, and our and perceptions of reality. It will mean changes in our perception of what is important. Each day will be according to what level one is at, and the manifestations of one’s thoughts will become apparent demonstrating the power of one’s much underestimated mind – a mind that is not underestimated by those we serve.
Depression is a part of the process, because depression is about control, but instead of reacting to it and reaching out for a harmful antidepressant, embrace the blessings to navigate our way through it, because one will only come out more alive than one thought to be possible ready to enjoy a journey with healthier relations with one’s self, one’s environment, the Creator and thus with others. Then it all begins to make sense.
This is a journey that begins with the self, so because others are mouthing the same sentiments, the same concerns, are protesting, rioting, etc, don’t assume that they mean the same thing, for the result will be less than what has already been!